The story of two Hobos

Late one night, deep in the 'hood, two homeless men curled up on top of a steam grating. It was chilly outside, and the warmth they found behind the old factory was welcome indeed. They made some cheap conversation;

Fat Jack: Hi there, you from these parts?

Thin Jim: Reckon I am - I be here ten years now!

Fat Jack: Well the name is Jack, Fat Jack is what I'm called. As a joke, that is.

Thin Jim: Joke??

Fat Jack: Cause I'm really darn thin. Not eating right all these years and all...

Thin Jim: Well, the same joke here; I'm known as Thin Jim, and no, I never was!

Fat Jack: Well you certainly have been feeding somewheres -

Thin Jim: Some people are nice, Jack; they had pity on me.

Fat Jack: I don't know about pity, Jim, I think we deserve food.

Thin Jim: Why, what are you to them? Nuthin but a beggar!

Fat Jack: And if I am, don't a beggar need to eat?

Thin Jim: Yeah, but do they owe it to you?

Fat Jack: I think so; they have responsibility on that money of theirs...

Thin Jim: What’s that?

Fat Jack: If they were granted money, they need to share it!

Thin Jim: Who says, bub?

Fat Jack: Two reasons, my friend; One - some of them make more than they can ever eat...

Thin Jim: So what?

Fat Jack: So obviously it was not given for them, that's what. If one guy got more than he needs and the other less, doesn't it make sense that it was given to share?

Thin Jim: Yo got some strong opinions there, man

Fat Jack: Heck, it's not even theirs, I say!

Thin Jim: What about the regular folks, the ones only making enough?

Fat Jack: Well someone is got to provide for us all; and if it's not me, it's gotta be them! Money is only there to be shared...

Thin Jim: Alrighty, what’s your other reason, pal?

Fat Jack: Well look at it this way; we are all in it here together.

Thin Jim: I'll be darned if I have any idea what you are talking about…

Fat Jack: I mean, all humankind is really like one big family.

Thin Jim: So?...

Fat Jack: So people have an obligation towards one another…

Thin Jim: What’s that?

Fat Jack: They need to make sure the next guy is fed and housed

Thin Jim: Your ideas are off the wall, Jack, you can be a politician

Fat Jack: How'd you figure that out??

Thin Jim: They are forever convincing you of what just aint!

Fat Jack: So what do YOU think, then?

Thin Jim: I think people can give others as a free gift.

Fat Jack: No obligation?

Thin Jim: Nothing! They are giving in kindness and generosity!

Fat Jack: And what of their social obligation?

Thin Jim: Is that your business or theirs?

Fat Jack: I suppose theirs. Let’s pretend we was rich, Jim!

Thin Jim: Hey, I'm rich! I just found a gold bar in the dumpster!

Fat Jack: Right on, now tell me; why ought you give charity?

Thin Jim: You mean ought I to give out of obligation or generosity?

Fat Jack: Yeah!

Thin Jim: Well, what's the difference to me?

Fat Jack: Who do you give to first; people that are most needy, or people that you are most obligated to, like your relatives?

Thin Jim: Good question. You say it has to do with giving out of obligation or generosity?

Fat Jack: Well if you give out of obligation, we need to see where your greatest obligation lies, if you give out of your heart, just follow your heart.

Thin Jim: And if I'm giving out of obligation I don't need to be in the mood. If I'm giving with generosity I do. And backwards too; if I give with a grumpy face I’ve fulfilled my obligation. But generous? No way!

Fat Jack: Move over Jim. You drowsed me out. I'm getting some shut-eye.

Thin Jim: You said the word, my man!

At this point the dialog become rather loud and monotonous, certainly not one I'd care to repeat.

But what do YOU think about this all; ought a man to give out of obligation, or out of generosity?

Give us your vote, will ya, we are the gift card donation folks, click here and tell us what you think!

Tithing and Charity jokes

Two men were shipwrecked near an island. When they landed ashore, one of them began screaming and yelling, “We’re going to die! We’re going to die! There’s no food! No water! We’re going to die!”
The second man leaned calmly against a palm tree.
When the first man saw how calm his friend was, he went crazy and shouted, “Don’t you understand?! We’re going to die!!”Undisturbed, the second man replied, “You don’t understand, I make $100,000 a week.”
Dumbfounded, the first man looked at him and asked, “What difference does that make?!? We’re on an island with no food and no water! We’re going to DIE!!!”
The second man answered, “You just don’t get it. I make $100,000 a week and I tithe ten percent on that $100,000 a week. Wherever I am, my pastor will be sure to find me!”

After the church service a little boy told the pastor, "When I grow up, I'm going to give you some money." "Well, thank you," the pastor replied, "but why?" "Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers we've ever had."

During the last Sunday service that the visiting pastor was to spend at the church he served for some months, his hat was passed around for a goodwill, farewell offering.
When it returned to the pastor, it was empty. The pastor didn’t flinch. He raised the hat to heaven. "I thank you, Lord, that I got my hat back from this congregation."


A little boy in church for the first time watched as the
ushers passed around the offering plates.
When they came near his pew, the boy said loudly,
“Don’t pay for me, Daddy, I’m under five.”

Two beggars are sitting on a park bench in Ireland. One is holding a cross and the other a Star of David.
Both are holding hats to collect contributions. People walk by, lift their noses at the man with the Star of David and drop money into the hat of the man with the cross. Soon, the hat of the man with the cross is filled and the hat of the man with the Star of David is empty.
Father O'Malley, the priest, watches for a while and then approaches the men. He says to the man with the Star of David, 'Don't you realize that this is a Catholic country? You'll never get any contributions holding a Star of David.'
The man turns to the one with the cross and says, 'Moishe, can you imagine, this goy is trying to tell us how to run our business?'

Here is one from Gift card donations; Frank, the honest fundraiser, is waiting outside of Big Jack’s office to collect his yearly contribution. He sees a somewhat unsavory character there, Pete, who although is an old time solicitor, is less than one hundred percent honest. All the money he collects goes nowhere farther than his pocket.
However, Frank is nothing if not a gentleman, and makes small talk with Pete while they wait. By and by the secretary comes around, and ushers Pete into the wealthy industrialist. Frank is wondering how Jack is doing businesswise, and decides to ask Pete when he comes out.
Sure enough, Pete bounces out of the office almost walking on air. He waves a huge check in front of Frank’s astounded eyes, and heads right for the door. Frank is all eagerness now. He waltzes up to the office door, and with a confident knock is invited inside. Jack knows Frank well, and he KNOWS that he will walk out a happy man.
But Jim cuts Frank the smallest check ever. Frank’s heart sinks to his socks. He says to Jim “You will pardon me sir, but was my friend Pete here today?” Jim says “Sure, he was right before you” “And would you know”, says Frank, “that to that thief you gave a king’s ransom, but to my legitimate cause you give pennies?!”
Jim looked unsurprised. “Dear Frank”, he said sweetly, “I know all about Pete. However in my line of business I don’t have much honest money. I give him from the scam stuff. But you, I KNOW you are legit. So I give you honorable money. Sorry if I don’t have much to offer!”
WBUHBNAK3HDS