The second man leaned calmly against a palm tree.
When the first man saw how calm his friend was, he went crazy and shouted, “Don’t you understand?! We’re going to die!!”Undisturbed, the second man replied, “You don’t understand, I make $100,000 a week.”
Dumbfounded, the first man looked at him and asked, “What difference does that make?!? We’re on an island with no food and no water! We’re going to DIE!!!”
The second man answered, “You just don’t get it. I make $100,000 a week and I tithe ten percent on that $100,000 a week. Wherever I am, my pastor will be sure to find me!”
After the church service a little boy told the pastor, "When I grow up, I'm going to give you some money." "Well, thank you," the pastor replied, "but why?" "Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers we've ever had."
During the last Sunday service that the visiting pastor was to spend at the church he served for some months, his hat was passed around for a goodwill, farewell offering.
When it returned to the pastor, it was empty. The pastor didn’t flinch. He raised the hat to heaven. "I thank you, Lord, that I got my hat back from this congregation."
A little boy in church for the first time watched as the
ushers passed around the offering plates.
When they came near his pew, the boy said loudly,
“Don’t pay for me, Daddy, I’m under five.”
Two beggars are sitting on a park bench in Ireland. One is holding a cross and the other a Star of David.
Both are holding hats to collect contributions. People walk by, lift their noses at the man with the Star of David and drop money into the hat of the man with the cross. Soon, the hat of the man with the cross is filled and the hat of the man with the Star of David is empty.
Father O'Malley, the priest, watches for a while and then approaches the men. He says to the man with the Star of David, 'Don't you realize that this is a Catholic country? You'll never get any contributions holding a Star of David.'
The man turns to the one with the cross and says, 'Moishe, can you imagine, this goy is trying to tell us how to run our business?'
Here is one from Gift card donations; Frank, the honest fundraiser, is waiting outside of Big Jack’s office to collect his yearly contribution. He sees a somewhat unsavory character there, Pete, who although is an old time solicitor, is less than one hundred percent honest. All the money he collects goes nowhere farther than his pocket.
However, Frank is nothing if not a gentleman, and makes small talk with Pete while they wait. By and by the secretary comes around, and ushers Pete into the wealthy industrialist. Frank is wondering how Jack is doing businesswise, and decides to ask Pete when he comes out.
Sure enough, Pete bounces out of the office almost walking on air. He waves a huge check in front of Frank’s astounded eyes, and heads right for the door. Frank is all eagerness now. He waltzes up to the office door, and with a confident knock is invited inside. Jack knows Frank well, and he KNOWS that he will walk out a happy man.
But Jim cuts Frank the smallest check ever. Frank’s heart sinks to his socks. He says to Jim “You will pardon me sir, but was my friend Pete here today?” Jim says “Sure, he was right before you” “And would you know”, says Frank, “that to that thief you gave a king’s ransom, but to my legitimate cause you give pennies?!”
Jim looked unsurprised. “Dear Frank”, he said sweetly, “I know all about Pete. However in my line of business I don’t have much honest money. I give him from the scam stuff. But you, I KNOW you are legit. So I give you honorable money. Sorry if I don’t have much to offer!”
WBUHBNAK3HDS
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